When you Completely Ignore the Opportunity

After a week of coughing and sniffling, cleaning up the effects of the stomach virus, and riding out the wretched virus myself, I was beat. It took everything I had to get to our Sunday morning worship. Weak, tired and still a little nauseous I got the kids dressed, helped my ailing husband lock-up the house and latch the children in the car and off to church we went.  By the time I got to church, the three minute car ride had my stomach whirling. I got the kids inside the church building and walked across the street with the smallest Davis to get some sort of soda in hopes of it soothing my stomach.  As I walked in I saw two very familiar faces--the guy who owns the shop, knows my story, and currently wants nothing to do with it --and the other, one of the people who lives on the street of our coffee house/church building. I said the usual, "Dobar Den." "Good day.", and really hoped that would be the end of the conversation. I didn't feel like saying another word.  I heard every word of their conversation, though, as I walked to the back of the tiny store to grab a Fanta. I didn't know what or whom exactly they were talking about, but there was camaraderie in their banter. They agreed. They were on the same side. And the side they came down on was that everyone "messes up." Everyone! No one is perfect. No one has ever been perfect. No one!

If there was ever a moment when Jesus could have entered the conversation it was right then. He could have walked in and said, "I was perfect. I am perfect. And I love you--all of you with all of your imperfections, your mess-ups, your sins, I love you. And I want to make you holy as I am holy. I died for you while you were still dead in your sin, and I want to make you alive in Me. I want you to know me and be found in me. I took all of your mess-ups, your sins, on the cross. Nails were beaten into my hands and feet and a crown of thorns was pressed into my brow. And with every drop of my blood, I covered your sins. I will bring you to life through the power of my resurrection. Just repent of your sins, believe in me as Lord, and your faith will make you well."

Did He want to use me to say those beautiful true words to them? Did he want me to speak up and speak love, grace, hope into their conversation? Of course. Did I obey him and make the most of the very obvious opportunity before me? Nope. I paid for my drink, agreed with the lady when she looked at me and said, "We all mess up. We're all sinners, right?", said, "Ciao." and walked out.

I.Walked.Out. I left two people who were hopelessly saying 'mankind is a bunch of screw-ups and we are included in that and, well, what are we gonna do about it?' to figure it out on their own.  I HAVE THE ANSWER and I walked out in silence.

I could make excuses.  In fact, all afternoon and even through the darkest part of the night, I made some pretty good points to that gnawing conviction in my stomach. I was feeling nauseous. Church was about to start. I had a very ill baby in my arms. I was ill. I had no energy to engage. They have heard me talk about Jesus before. They already know. 

Those excuses didn't make me feel better. I knew what I should've done. I knew I failed. I knew I had only thought of myself at that moment.

And so what do you do when you know you should've said something and you just didn't? What do you do when you feel guilty for not taking the opportunity that God put in your lap to share of His powerful redeeming love?

Confess to the giver of the Good News that you messed up. He is faithful and just to forgive us all of our unrighteousness. He is kind to lead us to repentance.  Let him deal with your selfish heart like a gentle Father with his child. But oh! rest in the grace that your debt has been paid in full. His burden is light. He did not save you to wallow in the guilt of your filthy rags. No. He saved you to depend on the fullness of His awesomeness. His goodness. His righteousness. So humbly come before him, and say, "I'm sorry. I sinned. Forgive me." And as He promises, He will. Fellowship restored. Peace acquired.

Remember that He is pursuing those individuals that you may have passed over. He hasn't passed them over yet. Proof: they are having conversations about the failures of mankind.  They hate it, and they want more. They are searching for better. They are searching for good.  It is His goodness that has caused them to begin to see this. He is after their hearts like a passionate lover because, my goodness, He loves them passionately! Trust in His unfailing love and sovereignty, not just over you, but also over the lost around you.

Ask God for another chance to share with these people you ignored. Look for that chance prayerfully, expectantly and readily. I believe he will be faithful to grant that request.

Be ready... for the next time. Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that it is you.

I failed miserably on Sunday, but I know that I am still accepted and loved by my Lord and Savior. I know that He is still pursuing the people here regardless of my failures. I am sure His grace is sufficient to let me keep on telling His story of how He brings people from darkness into His marvelous light.

I write this to set as a remembrance of the time I could've, of the time I should've, and pray that next time, by His grace, I will be faithful to answer those who are lost and undone with words of hope and healing.  No excuses. No regrets. By His grace...