Obedience in the Mundane

We are still here and still plugging away at language and life in Sofia. We feel like most days are complete chaos where no effort at a real schedule can be kept, but we also know that is life overseas. Living takes longer. Throw in kids, language, kids' language, homeschool, Brian's IT job, meeting new people and practicing our language, and as Kate said, "we have to eat" and y'all.... Life is hectic. We hit the ground running every morning and don't stop until late at night when language books are put away and we can look at the news to see if America has imploded yet. Most days I don't think we're gonna make it, and by 10 AM, I'm ready to fall back into bed in complete exhaustion, and yet every day, all day long in every moment, His mercies are new, His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

This is the new normal where we feel completely spent. The days are long. The studying is tedious, and the kids are begging for interaction. However, we feel completely confident that while the days are almost more than we can handle, we are exactly where we are supposed to be, doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. We're living in mundane chaos. Every day is the same version of the chaos from the day before and I can't help but think about the Israelites in the desert. Wandering. Confused. Hot. Tired. And whiney. 

I don't want to be like the whiney Israelites, though that is my tendency. I want His presence to be enough. I want His leadership in the chaos to be sufficient. I want His daily bread to fill me full, and I want to be satisfied in Him. I can't say that every day I succeed in this. It's hard to constantly remember that this call is a privilege, that this adventure, as some like to call it, is serious work that is truly worth it. It's hard to rest in and be found in Him when I can barely complete a coherent sentence to my husband. And yet, this is why our Father is so wonderful. He didn't leave the Israelites in their whiney stubbornness to wander 40 more years. He continued to lead them with a cloud by day and a fire by night, and he continued to provide for them. He has already provided so much for us here. He has moved in ways that are beyond my understanding--like, for instance, getting me through another day, and as I fall into bed, all I can be, should be, must be, is grateful. He has provided the energy to make it through, He showed up and carried me and kept me from losing it on any small people in my house. He is so kind, and I will bless His Name for letting me be on this wild journey with him. 

I will look to Jesus who modeled a joyful, intimate, obedient walk with His Father on this dusty hard ground. He rested in His Father. He took moments to be with His Father away from everything else and He continued to obey Him when misunderstood, attacked, mocked and nailed to a cross. Love makes obedience, even obedience through trials, sweet. And while we have been misunderstood daily because we are language learners, we haven't had to endure anything like our Jesus. 

We feel like we are obeying in staying, in just being here, in pressing on in language, in continuing to pour into and shepherd our children, in pursuing our neighbors and friends with the Truth and Love we have found in Christ. I found this quote the other night while re-reading Elizabeth Elliot's Secure in the Everlasting Arms, and it shot me right to the heart:

"Jesus loved the will of His Father. He embraced the limitations, the necessities, the conditions, the very chains of his humanity as he walked and worked here on earth, fulfilling moment by moment His divine commission and the stern demands of His incarnation. Never was there a word or even a look of complaint."

Never was there a word or even a look of complaint! May I abide so much in Him and He in me that love just overflows to those around me, firstly my husband and my children. May I be more like my Jesus, humbly submitting daily, with joy to the demands of the day, and may I be willing and ready to count it all joy because love really does make obedience sweet.