Reverse Culture Shock

If you haven't figured it out yet, we are back in America.  Our stateside assignment started the end of December which means we made it back to the states just in time to enjoy Christmas with our families, which was wonderful!!!  We have been back a little over a month and within that month we have been able to check out almost every one of our favorite American restaurants, hit up the clearance racks (how I have missed thee), see a couple of movies, worship with our body of believers several times (So incredibly wonderful!!!), enjoy the bounty of the superstore, and go through reverse culture shock.

Every time I think about it, I laugh at myself. I made it about 6 days before culture shock smacked me in the face and had me in tears.  Brian was sick, and I had gone out to navigate these wide, well-marked roads in search of the key to the apartment where we would be staying and food-- an easy enough task, right?! But that day, I might as well have been foraging through the New World with an axe in hand on the back of a donkey trying to find my way through the desert in search of food, water and shelter. I was a mess. At one point I had to call my dad to figure out how to start the van we are driving.  I couldn't get the key out of the ignition. I couldn't turn the ignition. I couldn't do anything.  My daddy asked me what seemed like an overwhelming amount of questions about the steering wheel and tried to comfort me with a story about this same thing happening to my 80 year old grandmother once. I'm not senile... Turns out, all I had to do was put the car in park and then everything worked just fine.  Good grief.  I laughed it off as a "blonde" moment, got off the phone and fussed about this country being so doggone complicated.  The van doors open with buttons, and they didn't seem to want to work for me that day.  Had I forgotten how to push a simple button in order get the results I wanted?!  I pushed the buttons. I tried brute strength, aka pull the door as hard as you can. It wouldn't move.... About the time I started to call my dad to ask him what I knew would turn out to be an obvious answer, the thing worked, and I was able to close the door and head on my way.  I was beginning to hate this land of the free. I didn't feel free. I was enslaved to a mini-van door.  I just wanted to go back to the land of "I (basically) know how everything works..."

And then came the journey for food.  The grocery store kind of made me want to throw up.  While I was excited about loading cheddar cheese, peanut butter and soft sliced bread into my cart, I couldn't seem to come up with an answer as to why there are 492 different boxes of cereal and 847 different variations of food... for dogs???  Once I got my groceries loaded in the car, and managed to get the car door shut, I thought I was deserving of some Chick-fil-A.  So, in hopes of returning to a bit of sanity and reminding myself why I do love this country, I headed for some yummy Christian chicken.  It didn't work.  I missed my Macedonia and no amount of chicken, waffle fries, or free refills was going to make it better.  It was time to get on a plane and head back home.  I called Brian in tears. Bless his sick little heart. He talked me down and managed to make part of his sick day a counseling session for his crazy wife. I made it through that day and the next. And I am happy to say that while I still have no idea why there are 847 variations of dog food and while I still have hard time in the cereal aisle, I can get the doors open on the mini-van on the first try almost every time and most days, I remember to put the car in park before I turn off the car.  I do love my America, but my heart still longs for Macedonia, the simple!

Reverse culture shock is no joke, people. It is painful and lonely much like the culture shock you go through on the other side of the pond, but in my estimation, it can be worse.  Reverse culture shock has you going in, well, reverse. The language, cultural taboos, greetings, slang, pop culture, etc., are all new or in some cases old, and you have to rewind and learn or relearn them or risk looking like a fool in front of your own people.  Overseas, you can chalk up your silly cultural blunders to the fact that you are a foreigner.  In America, not so much. You don't look like a foreigner, you don't talk like a foreigner.  So why on earth would you take your shoes off at someone's door and kiss them three times on both cheeks when you meet them???  Cause it cultural... somewhere.
It was the sheer grace of God that got me through culture shock overseas and sustained me there every day, and it is the grace of God that gets me through reverse culture shock and sustains me here as well.   I need thee every hour, O precious Lord...

For my colleagues and fellow expatriates out there here's a little navigational guide for reentry into what we once called home:
1. Check your expectations at customs. That basically sums it up, but if you want specifics, read on...
2. America is busy, therefore Americans are busy. They will have to work you into their schedule, and after about a week, you will have to do the same. Don't be offended or hurt. It's just how things operate around here.
3. You will need a calendar and you will need to actually use it. Deep breaths everyone.
4. If texting isn't your main form of communication, you will need to figure it out and quick.
5. You will get laughed at.  That sense of humor that got you through language school and cultural learning overseas will need to be back in full swing over here.  You must laugh at yourself.
6.  Church will overwhelm you. It may overwhelm you in a different way than it did me.  Our church is large and wonderful, tons of people, and yet little interaction with anyone on Sunday mornings.  Coming from house church where everyone just sits around and loves on one another for hours after worship, this was hard for me, which leads me to my next point...
7. Plug into a small group or SS class.  Our small group is wonderful and that is where we have found community and fellowship. It is a must!
8. The temptation to judge and be critical is huge. Don't give in.  Give grace.  Share truth, humbly and in love.
9. Do something fun.  Show your kids and remind yourself the great fun that can be had in America. Go see a movie, enjoy some over-priced coffee and doughnuts, go play with all the new toys at Best Buy and in the toy aisle at Walmart, sing the national anthem at the top of your lungs, go to a ball game, walk around a park, spend some precious time with extended family and take lots of pictures of the festivities. Just enjoy yourself.
10. Remember home is heaven.  Home isn't here or there.  Home is upward.  The longing that can't be satisfied overseas or upon return isn't meant to be. It will only be satisfied when we are with our Jesus, face to face in heaven.  We know this. We preach it, and yet, we can so quickly forget it.

Stay-tuned for the kids' perspective on America, and let us know if you want to get together. We are here till the summer and we would LOVE to meet up for a coffee!

My Tiny Little Baby... A Precious Life

It was 13 years ago. One of my best friends in high school had gone through with it.  I called that morning to check on her, and I literally fell to my knees as her mother said, 'She can't come to the phone. She is resting from the procedure." I got off the phone and cried for most of the day.  I had begged her to give me her unborn baby.  I had promised her I would be by her side the whole time.  My heart was broken.  The tragedy of abortion hit me square in the face.  It was no longer a far off tragedy. It was personal.  It had effected my dear friend and her future generations.

This past Sunday was sanctity of life Sunday here in America, and while I sat in church on Sunday morning and listened to the facts about this destroyer of life that is legal in our country, I felt my precious little one moving around inside of me.  I fought back tears, and I literally felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't imagine not giving this precious baby boy the chance at life.  Last week, I went in for an ultrasound of my little man.  I saw his eyes, his nose, his fingers and little toes. Along with my ultrasound technician, I praised the Father over the miracle that is this little one.  His little heart beat strongly as I strained to see into his world, his safe haven.  He is alive, moving, active, growing, and I will do everything to care for him and protect him for as long as his heart beats.  He is being intricately woven together, created in the image of God.  He is precious and loved by his creator. 

My five and three year old understand that there is a living baby inside mommy and that they have to be careful not to hurt him. They understand that mommy has to be careful with what she does because she wants to take care of this little one God has given us, and yet some of the most educated people in the world would have us believe that if I wanted to harm him, to stop his heart, it would be ok because he is living in my body. Over 50 million little lives have been killed in the U.S. alone because many women have given into the lie that they are more important than the baby inside their womb.  

To those women, including my friend from high school, you are precious and loved in the eyes of your Creator. There is grace and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus. He longs to be your comforter as you face the pains of your decision.  He is holding your little one safely in His arms. Put your trust in Him. Give Him your life and He will give you beauty for your ashes of mourning.

America, you are my beloved country, but we have walked down a path for 40 years that is wrong and against the One who endows us with those very inalienable rights that we cling to so fiercely and that we use to excuse this tragedy.  We must turn our face back toward Him in humble submission. We must stop killing His little creations who have never gotten the chance to take their first breath.  

Look at that face and tell me you aren't willing to do whatever it takes to keep it safe.

For more on this topic, here are some fantastic links: 

I rest my own motherly grief in the grace of Christ who holds my worshiping little Victoria Elise who would be 22 years old now.  How great a grace of a savior that lets a woman who added to the number of the 55 million be a part of saving hundreds!  
http://firstchoicepregnancysolutions.blogspot.com/2013/01/what-can-you-do-on-day-marking-40-years.html 

"Many simply say it is the lesser of two evils. I took an abortionist out to lunch once, prepared to give him ten reasons why the unborn are human beings. He stopped me, and said, “I know that. We are killing children.” I was stunned. He said, “It’s simply a matter of justice for women. It would be a greater evil to deny women the equal right of reproductive freedom.” Which means women should be no more encumbered by the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy than men. That equal freedom from the burden of bearing unwanted children is the basis for abortion that President Obama refers to again and again when he talks about equal rights for women. We know we are killing children."
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/we-know-they-are-killing-children-all-of-us-know 

"But the “personhood” debate is looking more and more like an irrelevant discussion. As an example, take Merle Hoffman, a key figure for the pro-choice movement, who founded one of the first abortions clinics even prior to 1973. She notes that most people who get abortions acknowledge that the fetus is a tiny human life, with fingers and toes and a heartbeat. But that fact was outweighed by their decision: “They knew [the fetus was a human life], but my patients who made the choice to have an abortion also knew they were making the right one, a decision so vital it was worth stopping that heart.”

   -----Spence Shelton at http://www.jdgreear.com

And even a free book by John Piper on the topic: Exposing the Dark Work of Abortion

I Cannot Be Silent

Here is another great video as you think not only about giving to LMCO this year but also as you think about God's personal call on your life.  Lottie Moon, who paved the way for us over 140 years ago, still speaks and leads us in the call today.  Please take a few minutes to visit THIS LINK  and watch the video. Pray about how God would have you respond.

"A young man should ask himself not if it is his duty to go to the lost, but if he may dare stay at home....  If the joy of the Lord be their strength, the blessedness of the work will more than compensate for the hardships." Lottie Moon

"The needs of these people press upon my soul, and I cannot be silent." --Lottie Moon She echos my heart's cry? Is it yours???

Bittersweet Closing

It's been a long and wild ride on Dame Gruev 15, but the time has come to get off the ride and look to new things.  By the grace of God and your financial support, we were able to open the coffee house, Ima Vreme, in 2007. We started with just a hot water pot, a few coffee mugs, a fridge, and a few places for people to sit.  This local meeting place evolved into a full-fledge coffee house with couches, pictures on the wall, a bar and even a very complicated cappuccino machine (I never did learn how to work that thing). The people that came through the doors would number around 1000, but the outreach from the coffeehouse would reach several thousand all over town. The conversations that were had no one can place any amount of human value on.  

Our 4 journeymen who have served in Ohrid with us over the last 5 years were vital to the ministry of the coffee house.  Along with us, and many of you who have come as volunteers, they planned events, led English classes, taught guitar lessons, started book clubs, knitting groups, children's story hour, coffee discussions, helped with Bible discussions, women's groups, cooking classes, humanitarian aid projects, school supply distribution, VBS, many seminars and concerts, taught fun American dances, and the list could go on. And all of the hard work paid off.

Ima Vreme was a place where anyone was welcome, no matter their nationality and financial status.  It was a place where warm coffee was served and a listening ear was offered.  It was a place where the gospel was shared basically every single time the doors were opened.  It was a place from which over 600 Bibles, over 200 New Testaments, over 5000 other books centered around the Gospel, and over 7000 tracts were handed out.  It was a place where many opened and read the Bible for the very first time in their whole lives.  It was a place where many began their journey to meeting and following Jesus Christ.

There was a lot of laughter within its walls, a lot of tears, a lot of frustrating conversations, a lot of AMAZing conversations, and a whole lot of fun.  

You may be asking, "Then why, oh why, would we close it?"  I could give you a list of a several reasons, but the main one is that this is without a doubt the way we feel the Lord leading us right now.   So, thank YOU for how you have partnered to make what was a great place of ministry a success. Thank you for how you have prayed for the events that have taken place there. Thank you for how you have financially supported it through the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering. Thank you for how you have come to join us in our work within those walls as we have tried to love and serve the people around us. 

Our closing party was Friday night, and it was great to catch up with some of the old regulars and some that are still regulars.

Brian led one final Bible discussion within these walls before the 'party' began and many heard the gospel one more time.  He talked from the end of Matthew 11 about Jesus' invitation for all to come to him.  Pray that these seeds that we have been sowing for years with take root and bear much fruit.  

Saturday morning, our team arrived to help tear down and pack up the place.  As we packed up all the boxes, moved out the furniture, and scraped the Ima Vreme logo off the windows, I thought, what's next for us in this town??? I don't know, but I know the one who was so faithful to provide every need for Ima Vreme will be faithful to lead us onward in our work here... as there is still MUCH work left to do! 

'A Story Like No Other'

This is so good.  Matt Papa is one of my new favorite artists, and this is one of his finest pieces.  I hope you will take 10 minutes out of your day to listen.

Thank You Camp Mundo Vista

We just got a WONDERFUL package from a group of girls at Camp Mundo Vista in NC.  There were a ton of cards for our family and some just for Kate and Thomas. What a precious gift!  It's things like this that encourage us and show love to us and our babies.  Kate was SO excited! We sat down and read all of them.  Thanks girls for taking time to pray for us and serve us in this way!

The Big Show--Round Two

Kate got to do her little dance one more time. This time it was at one of the preschools and only the parents were invited. So, we were able to get some better pictures.  Sorry if you are bored by our daughter's cuteness. Although, if you are bored, there may be something broken inside of you.  

Just look at that face!!!

Once again, she did great, and we were super proud parents!

Preschool Dropout

Preschool dropout. No graduation day for him!

Check out that face. It screams, "Who needs school?!" 

Thomas is officially a preschool dropout.  For a month, the poor guy cried from the time he woke up and heard the word school until he got home from school. Our neighbors made sure to tell us they thought we were causing him too much "misery."  So since I am home most of the time and we are heading back to the states for six months, we figured it was pointless to force it right now.  So, the big guy is back home with mommy (has been for a while), and while I am not getting nearly as much done as I should be (?), he is a happy fella and the neighbors assured us we made the right decision. :)  

Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!

Thanksgiving celebration is always a fun and interesting time around here.  The last few years we have had Macedonians over for our traditional meal of giant, wild, poultry, also known as, The Turkey, stuffing (try explaining that one in another language, "What's this?" Stuffing. Bread, seasonings, turkey juice.... After which an awkward silence commences as they add some to their plate), green bean casserole ("What's a casserole?" We just add a bunch of yummy things to the green beans and bake 'em. Awkward silence commences as they add add some to their plate), sweet potato casserole ("What's a sweet potato? It's a sweet potato, then we add a bunch of yummy stuff to it and bake it. "Is it dessert?" Nope.  Awkward silence commences as they add some to their plate.), cranberry sauce (Candied cranberries? It's sweet? Yep. More awkward silence...), mashed potatoes and gravy (finally familiarity), rolls (which are very similar to the Macedonian kifli, but are far too small to eat with a meal. "Where's the loaf of white bread?" and "Why does this butter have honey in it?") It is a cultural experience for all of our people as we welcome them into our home and world of food. They always eat and enjoy it but still find it very odd, but I mean, really, Thanksgiving food is a little odd. What we can't explain, we blame on the pilgrims and indians and chalk it up to tradition, which is a concept they can understand, and once again, we are all on the same page and all is right with the world.

This year, we joined some other Americans who live in town and work as professors at one of the local universities for our meal, and we invited our baptized believers.  It was a blast.  Thomas and Kate got to play with the other kiddos. The food was delicious, and the fellowship was precious. We are thankful. (My apologies on the complete lack of pictures of the big event.)

On Friday, we got up and prepared to go be even more thankful with our Macedonian family, also known as, our team.  We headed to Prilep to meet up with everyone. Friday night we watched football and got way too little sleep. I blame it on the cheese dip.  Saturday morning, the guys went and played their annual football game. After they shoveled the football field from the horse droppings, they had a big ole time in some good ole fashioned American fun.

The cheerleader. Cutie face!

Brian looks for an open receiver. 

Both teams joined together for a picture.

His biggest fans.

The ladies got all the yummies ready, and we sat down to enjoy our delicious meal, where we didn't have to explain what anything was (though there was an odd colored pumpkin pie ;0)), and we could just enjoy the food and fellowship. It was a blast and we are so grateful for the opportunity we had to share this holiday with our precious family here.  God is so good and kind to us.

The One with More Heart Tests

After all of the heart drama last week, we had a few days at home and then headed back to Skopje for Brian to have a follow-up exam. Since this wasn't an emergency trip, we took our time and enjoyed God's beautiful creation all the way up.  It was cloudy and overcast which oddly enough is mine and Brian's favorite kind weather. The leaves were changing, and the colors were magnificent! Bright oranges and yellows with hints of red were scattered throughout the mountain-side. What an amazing artist is our great God.

I love how he uses His creation to remind me of how great He is. So powerful. So mighty. So gracious and kind. So in control.  This particular day, as we stopped on the side of the mountain roads to take some pictures and just praise God for His fingertips of grace in our life, I was reminded once again that 'in Him all things hold all together.'  He is sovereign over His creation. He is sovereign over us.  And He is the good Shepherd patiently leading us through the valleys and mountain tops with cords of kindness and bands of love.

  I love this picture--a house, in the middle of nowhere, fully intact offering shelter to those who abide in it. What a beautiful, yet imperfect picture, of hiding in the shelter of my God and King. The days that led up to this return trip, I caught myself in times of fear and anxiety.  One night, while folding insane amounts of laundry, I just fell apart over little under-roos, tiny socks, and giant man socks.  How incredibly good has my God been to me.  He is the giver of all of these good gifts. He is the sustainer of it all.  He passed us by, gave us abundant life through Jesus Christ and He hides us in His shelter--the shelter of the Most High God. God calmed my fears every single time one of them crept up on me, and He did it with such grace and kindness.  When I felt like I was in the middle of nowhere with no idea of where we were going next, He offered me shelter, a place where I could abide safely and peacefully. Sweet grace.

We arrived in Skopje, enjoyed lunch and coffee with some friends, but Brian started feeling weak and tired so we headed to the place where we would be staying for the next few nights.  Brian rested and we waited for his appointment that night.  His appointment went well, and the doctor seemed confident that He was fine, but she couldn't explain why he was still in pain and why he was still feeling so weak.  She decided to have him wear the holter monitor for 24 hours. We weren't able to get the monitor until two days later. So we decided we would just enjoy the next day together, as a family. It was just what we needed.

We took the kids to the zoo, and had a good time chatting it up with some monkeys. I love monkeys!!!

We had such a good time together. AND while we were in Skopje, we were each able to share the full story of God's love with several people. He works all things for His glory and renown!!!  

The next day, Brian got hooked-up to the monitor and got to rock it with style for the next 24 hours.  We finally heard from the doctor last night and she confirmed that from all of the tests she had run, his heart looked healthy and strong. He does have the myocardial bridge, but it seems to, in fact, be benign and is not causing any stress on his heart. Praise the Lord!!! She had put him on some medicine (an ACE inhibitor) that seems to be helping him with the pain and in general, feel better. It has been so good to see him back in the swing of things over the last couple of days. He is back to his old self with tons of energy, and while his old self wears me out most days, I am so thankful to, once again, be running behind him at full speed.  He has hopes to see half the town for coffee today, among other things. I told him, he needed to schedule some rest time, just in case he isn't feeling good. "We'll see," he says. Bless my heart!!! ;0)

Thank you all so much for how you have prayed for us. We have literally felt your prayers as the peace of God has ruled in our hearts and minds. Please continue to pray that this medicine will continue to be effective. We will see a cardiologist once we are back in the states after the new year. Pray that he will confirm all of the good news we have received over the last few days. Praise God for His hand on Brian's life.  To Him be the glory!!!!

Welcome to the Big Show

Kate had a school program on Tuesday night. She did SO good and mommy and daddy were super duper proud of their girl. I even cried a little. Pregnancy hormones are in full swing, people. The theme was Olympics, and I also may or may not have gotten a little teary eyed when they started playing the "Chariots of Fire" theme song... But this blog isn't about my weepiness, it's about our big girl and her great performance.

Look at that little cuteness in her leotard and tights, and, that's right... a PONYTAIL! :)  

She did so good. This girl has got some moves.  

Her class were supposed to be the gymnasts in the program.  There were flips and back bends and dancing and so... much... cuteness!!! It was just too much!

This was their grand finale.  BRAVO!!!!

All of the preschools (which are state run) in Ohrid had several groups perform so it was a long night in our little town theater with a bajillion parents and grandparents and friends and passers-by.  But the show was very impressive and it was worth sitting through.

There were  A LOT of people and poor Thomas was a little overwhelmed by the crowd. Bless him. 

Getting out of the theater was the adventure of a lifetime.  Near to 1000 people and one exit where it's pretty much every man for himself and there is no such thing as the common courtesy of the south. I thought I was used to getting pushed out of the way and never hearing, "Excuse me."  However, that night confirmed that one never really gets used to having their toes stomped on and being body bumped so hard that you would fall over if there wasn't another person so close to you as to break your fall. It was a hot mess and let's just say, in my heart, those pregnancy hormones reared their ugly head once more.  Praise the Lord, He gave me the grace and strength to keep my all too sassy mouth shut. What's funny, is that nobody else seemed bothered by it, which means, for me, it was just the clash of the cultures at its greatest.

So anyway back to the star of the show...  

After we got out into the fresh cool air, we took the kids out to hot chocolate and dessert to celebrate Kate's awesome performance.

Thomas was one happy little dude.  'Who cares what Kate did! They gave me chocolate!"

Notice Kate's closed mouth smile. This is very Macedonian, and it totally cracks us up that she does this.  Little Makedonka!

I love our little family.  We are so thankful our Kate is so comfortable in her 2nd culture. We love spending our life here.    

The One With the Heart Emergency

Wednesday started like any other day.  Brian got out of bed at Thomas' call for "JUICE!!!" And I scrounged out of bed a few minutes behind him. Sullen and half asleep, I waited for the water to boil so I could make my Nescafe and have a moment of "don't mess with me" before I had to get Kate ready and out the door for preschool. Brian went for a run, we met with Jesus, and then we got to work.  Just a few hours later, Brian started complaining of "feeling weird."  He couldn't really say what was wrong, but he just didn't feel right.  In typical Brian fashion, he tried to shake it off and continue about his business, but he just couldn't seem to function normally. So I sent him to bed.  I had been sick the week before and we both figured he was coming down with what I had. After an atypical three hour nap, he got up, still not feeling good, and decided he finally needed to heed the recommendation of our organization's medical team and go get an EKG. He went to our local private clinic here and they discovered his pulse was low--46.  Even at Brian's fittest, his pulse only ever got down to 49 and Brian would certainly not consider himself in-shape at the moment. So this was a concerning number for the doctor here.  Brian came home and relayed the message that our doctor wanted him to see a cardiologist sooner rather than later. We made plans to go the next morning but it wasn't long after that, when Brian started having chest pains and told me we better go ahead to Skopje to the private heart hospital right away. I had just gotten the kids a bath and Thomas had already fallen asleep for the night. I got everything packed (by packed, I mean I threw clothes from the drying rack into the suitcase without a care of folding or wrinkles). We loaded the car, kids in jammies, Brian in pain and me with an odd peace that could only be from my Jesus, and begin the long dark drive to Skopje.  The trip is only 2.5 hours, but that night it seemed like we crawled at a snail's pace through the dark windy roads and every 2 minutes I thought, we are never going to get there. Brian had already briefed me on arrival in Skopje: directions to the hospital, where to park, what to tell our friends who were meeting us to get our kids.  I asked him why he was telling me so much and he said, "Just in case I pass out."  OK. This. Is. SERIOUS!!!

It was the grace of God (as it always is) that got us to the hospital. With horrible night vision, curvy wet mountain roads, fog, a stick shift, and the stress of the situation, I have no doubt that it was the Lord who made every move for me. I told Brian on our return to Ohrid that I felt completely out of control of myself that night and I believe Jesus, quite literally, took the wheel. :)  He is good.

Where normal Mandy would most likely be in shambles by this point, I felt the pure and complete soothing presence of God. He was a shield all about me, guarding my thoughts from running wild to the "what ifs" and keeping me in His perfect peace.  He is faithful.  As I was praying, which I did for two hours and fifteen minutes of the two and half hour trip, I remember praying a prayer I have never prayed before, "Lord, hold Brian together. Hold him together."  I have prayed for good health for him and the kids. I have asked the Lord to sustain us. I have praised Him for how He daily provides for us and sustains us, but I have never utter the simple yet profound words, "Hold him together." It is Jesus who holds all things together. "...All things were created through Him and for him. And He is before all things and in Him all things hold together." (Colossians 1:16b-17) Praise the Powerful Name of Jesus!  My Jesus was holding my husband, His creation, together. He always has. Words of comfort that could only come from the Holy Spirit in such a time as this, poured over me and made it all ok.

We made it to the hospital, and while Brian was still in a good amount of pain, he was conscience. Thank you, Father!  He went on inside the hospital and I waited outside for our friends and teammates to arrive to take the kids to their house for the night.  Once I got inside the hospital, they had already drawn blood, completed another EKG and were waiting on the doctor to come in and do an echo-cardio-gram.  (I'm grateful for my heart history as I knew most of what was going on.)  The doctor discovered that Brian's heart was enlarged and his pulse was down to 43.  She also saw an anomaly on the echo that led her to call for the opinion of another doctor.  They agreed that they needed to do an angiogram (cardiac catherization) and that they should keep him overnight to monitor him.  We walked through the maze of the hospital, which like walking from the new world, back to the days of communism, back to the new world.  Once they ushered Brian back through the doors of the new world, the road ended for me. They brought me a bag full of all of his belongings and sent me home.  Brian said they couldn't find any hospital pajamas to fit him. They were all too small. So they gave him a gown and it was like a mini-skirt. They said they had never had patient as big as he is. So he rocked the mini-gown in a room with 5 other 60-plus year old men for the night. It was surely picture worthy.

I went to our friends' house, where they so graciously gave me a big hug and gave up their bed for me. The Body of Christ is an incredible thing and I am so thankful for how the Lord used the precious Boohers to bless me, love on me and care for my kids. The next morning, they gave me coffee, fed me and let me take a hot shower. They reassured me several times that they would take care of the kids all day. And they did just that.  Ira told me the kids didn't even ask for me.  That's a good thing... I think.

I spent the cold rainy day at the hospital. When I got there, the receptionist and nurses conspired together to break the rules so I could go in and sit with my man.  This was a BIG no-no. But once again God supplies all of our needs, and He knew I needed to see him.  I got to sit with Brian and his five roommates for most of the morning.  I am so thankful that we got to sit together and laugh at the funny old men in his room. I saw things that I am pretty sure I am not old enough to see, and I am pretty sure I breathed in some things that are the very reason we get vaccinated.  No, it wasn't quite that bad, but we did get a good laugh at the excitement of a non-private room... in the Balkans... in a heart hospital.... where modesty has never existed and people have been smoking since the discovery of tobacco.

I had to leave the hospital around lunch time to go feed myself and this baby, and quite frankly Brian and I really did start getting a little worried about all that I was inhaling. So he sent me on my way. The hospital gave a me a number to call to check in on him and see if they had done the angiogram yet. Brian had to wait most of the day for them to finally take him back for the procedure.  Poor thing.

At 4:00 they finally took him back. Brian said that although the table he had to lay on was big, it had been customized for the overall shorter height of Macedonians.  Therefore he had to put his head at the edge of the table and lay on his left arm since it was hanging off. I thought that was hysterical. He's really not that big, people.  Anyway, they finished up the procedure, assured him that his arteries were perfectly clear and his heart looked healthy other than this anomaly they had seen the day before.  Turns out he has what is called a myocardial bridge, which can be deadly, but his seems to be benign.  The doctors seem to think that this is what is causing his pain since his heart is enlarged and it is hitting this "bridge." After several hours of waiting for signatures and stamps (stamps on documents are UBER-important here), an appointment was made for follow-up. The doctors still seem unsure as to what to do with this bridge along with his enlarged heart.  While Brian would like you all to think he is perfectly fine, he is not completely out of the woods yet. But my God is God of the woods!!!  We go back this week for more info and will hopefully get all of our questions answered. Please be praying for that and pray that this will not require surgery.

Brian and I left the hospital with grateful hearts. Tired, emotional and physically, but so thankful to our great God who holds all things together by the power of His word.  He held my Brian together just like He always has, and He is the great physician we can trust to heal Brian.

My role now is to try and keep Brian's stress level at a minimum. It is no secret that he has been under a tremendous amount of stress over the last couple of months, and there is much more that could potentially cause stress in the coming months. Please be praying that the peace of God will reign in his heart and mind in Christ Jesus.  

Thank you all for how you prayed for us and encouraged us over the last week.  Once again I am so thankful for the body of Christ and I am thankful that we are not alone in this fight.  To God be the glory. Great things he has done!

The Party

In Macedonia, birthday parties up until 4-5 years old are pretty much about the adults in the child's life.  But since this year, Kate turned five and since she has plenty of friends from her preschool, we decided to have a joint party at an Igroteka (indoor play-place).  It was ALL about the kids, which is just how I like it!

Macedonians also sing Happy Birthday (in English, mind you), light and blow out the candle three times. It's really funny. Thomas was like, "Enough people!"

 

Notice how Thomas was surrounded by girls--all of Kate's girlfriends from school.  No worries, he had a couple of boys there with him.

After Thomas' three rounds of singing, it was Kate's turn.

Our sweet babies had a good Macedonian birthday and a wild time with their friends.  Yay!  

My Big Three Year Old

My Thomas is THREE! I really, really can't believe it!

He is one crazy wild little man. He keeps us on our toes, keeps us laughing, keeps us from "down-time" and reminds us that we, too, are still a work in progress.  I absolutely love being His mommy. I love throwing balls with him (and telling him 5 times a day "We don't throw things that aren't balls."), playing cars with him, building train tracks with him and "Pow! Pow!ing" (sword fighting) with him.   I love his athleticism (he didn't get that from me). I love to hear him pray. Sometimes, the prayers are soft and sweet, and sometimes, he just plain yells them.  Either way, God hears! I LOVE that he still loves to cuddle with me as much as he did when he was a baby.  I love that he brings me home a rock every time he goes out.  I love his passion, ambition and drive! I could go on and on.  In a nutshell, I LOVE MY BOY! 

He wanted a Lightening McQueen "Kachow!" cake, and it had to be 'ChocOlate!'

His BIG 3 pancake with decorations galore all over the house!!!

Look at that sweet smile!

My Boo Boo, I love you more than you will ever know.  But as much as I love you, your creator loves you infinitely more.  You are His.  There is nothing you can ever do to make Him stop loving you.  My prayer for you this year is that you will grow in knowledge and love for Him. He is your rock and fortress. He is the greatest, truest superhero of them all. He is the champion!  Follow hard after Him my big boy!  I LOVE YOU!