Monday, December 24, 2018

Merry Christmas and a Happy 2019

Normally around this time of year I sit down and type out some sort of long and sappy post about missing family and being far away from home for Christmas. And then towards the end of the post, I remind myself that it's really all worth it. Walking in obedience with the Father, being His ambassador to a lost and dying world, bringing peace, hope, love and joy to those who are so desperate for it, and making the Name of Christ great among the nations because He is worthy of all of our praise. It is worth it. This is the conclusion I come to in every single Christmas post because it's true.

(If you are in the mood for some emotional reading you can see my 2016 post here or my 2014 post here or my 2013 post here. I read back through all of these and even farther back and see how the Lord was so faithfully drawing me to Himself, teaching me about resting in and trusting in Him, making me know, without a doubt, that He is enough and in Him alone can Christmas be merry and bright.)


I will spare you the sap this year. Fact is, all the emotion and the dull ache for an extended family Christmas is still swirling around in my heart after almost 13 years overseas. I'm beginning to think it is never going away, and I am actually really thankful for that. We have an amazing family back in the states who are worth a few (a LOT) of tears and the ache of missing them. They love and support us SO very well, and I am so thankful for them. It has helped this year that Brian's parents were able to come for a visit at the beginning of the month! It was so wonderful, and we had a blast showing them around snowy, cold, and gray Sofia!

They left a week ago, but we were able to do an early Christmas with them and are so very thankful that they made the trip to see us this time of year. 
What a tremendous gift!!! We are SO very thankful!!!

Today, we will set up times to chat with our families tomorrow so we can see their faces through a computer screen and open the presents that they sent, and it will be great. Praise God for internet and video chat. Sweet little Lottie Moon certainly didn't have such a luxury. We may feel a little sad, but God will be faithful just as He has been in the past. He will be our peace. He will be our Emanuel, God with us. He will remind us so tenderly that He knows how we feel. He can empathize with us. He will graciously turn our eyes back to Him, to His manger, the worshipping angels and the bowing shepherds. And then He will turn our eyes to His life as a suffering servant, always misunderstood by the people He walked among but always giving of Himself to heal, save, bring peace, speak truth and love so unconditionally. And then, our eyes will turn, so naturally, to the cross. The reason for the manger. He will remind us that He gave Himself up for us--the ultimate gift of love shown while we were still sinners, enemies, haters of Him. He will remind of his victorious resurrection. Our Victor over death. He is our Deliverer. Our Savior. Our King. And the world must know!!!

This is our victorious song! 
This is our why!
Our everything!




This last week has been busy. Kate, Thomas, and Isaiah both had lots going on at school for Christmas. Kate had some friends from school over to decorate cookies and Isaiah had a fun Christmas program at school. The kids have helped bake and bag up Christmas goodies that we will be handing out today along with Bibles and books to friends and neighbors. Please pray that this will be a fruitful effort. 


We pray that you all know this great King of Peace and that you walk in His mercy, grace and love this Christmas season and through the whole of 2019. May we all grow in Him, our great God and King. May we be filled with the knowledge of Him in all wisdom and spiritual understanding and may we bear the good fruit of the Holy Spirit for the sake of the gospel.

We are so thankful for your prayers and support through the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering. May God richly bless you with His presence.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Thankful!

We just wrapped up a busy Thanksgiving weekend that was so fun. 
Last week was tough. I kind of felt like our house was under full assault. I won't go into details because you may decide you don't want to be my friend anymore, but let's just say it was crawling with drama and stress and yuck! In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that big of a deal (though many of my friends affirmed my exasperation), but in the moment, things were a little overwhelming. It was tough to keep my eyes on the Lord and the joy of my salvation and how very much I have to be thankful for. Because, y'all, God has given SO much! So many good gifts. So many things that I don't need or deserve. He is so kind. Thursday morning before all the cooking started and while I was still deciding whether I was strong enough to make the whole meal, get my house back in order, and have guests, the Lord reminded me of His goodness even in this broken and fallen world. He never changes. He is enough. He is faithful. He is my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield in whom I take refuge. He gives the strength to face every new day and every new challenge. His grace is sufficient in every single situation. 

It takes a small army to make a Thanksgiving meal, and my kids were excited to be a part of that army. Isaiah had gone shopping with me earlier in the week. He likes to sit in the cart and organize all the groceries as I put them in. I think he had given up on organizing at this point and he decided to just bury himself in frozen fruit and veggies. :)

And then the cooking began. 
Thomas helped with the apple tart and homemade caramel sauce.

Kate helped with A LOT! Stuffing, green bean casserole, roasted carrots, and so much more. We had a blast dancing around the kitchen and cooking together. 

But most importantly, she helped with the cheesecake. SO YUMMY! We both decided that we need to make this more often. Like at least once a week. :) 

Isaiah helped with the pie crusts and then he helped lick the bowls. His pleasure.

Thanksgiving is not a holiday here which means the kids were in school like every other day. So our meal couldn't start until Kate got out of school at 6:30 and our friends were able to get here from work at 7. This gave me more time to get everything done. I'm thankful for that too!

 We only had a few Bulgarian friends over because after the week we had, we needed to keep it simple. These friends are so fun and we are so thankful for each of them. They have been so kind and patient as we have learned (are learning) their language and culture and have been such a blessing and encouragement to us. It only seemed fitting that they would be around our table on Thanksgiving day. We had a blast and having them here made the ache of being away from family so much better. 

On Friday evening, we hopped in the car and drove a few hours to enjoy a whole weekend of being thankful with our wonderful team. A lot of our team are currently stateside, so we are looking a little small this year. We missed them so much, but we are so thankful they got to be in the land of family and canned pumpkin this year. We LOVE our team. I am so thankful for them! So SO thankful! 

And our kids got to hang out with some of their favorites. They were zoned out in front of a Dude Perfect video in this picture, but they didn't stay this way for long. 
The boys had a blast and Kate, the only girl this year, got lost in a book. She certainly wasn't complaining. (In this picture, she had literally fallen asleep in her book. Ha.)
And the kids got to do a little ice skating. So fun!

There was lots of laughter, delicious food, late nights, good deep talks and more laughter. Y'all these people... they get it. They know the stressors of living in another country far from home. They know the pain of not being with blood relatives on a very family-centered holiday. They share a deep love and compassion for the nation that we now call home and the people among whom we live. They understand. And I am so thankful for weekends with them. They challenge me, spur me on, encourage me, affirm me in my call, cheer for me, pray with me and for me, bear my burdens, and say, without words, "You are not alone." They are a precious gift. Did I mention I love our team?! 

We truly have so much to be thankful for. And while I was ready to cancel Thanksgiving all together a week ago, I am so glad that I didn't. I am so glad that He put friends around our table, food in our bellies and His Word dwelling deeply in our hearts to remind us that in this world, we will (DO) have trouble, but He has overcome the world. His grace is sufficient. He is enough. And if that's all there was, if I had nothing else, I would have all I needed and my heart would be full.

I hope you and yours had a very happy Thanksgiving weekend!!!

Monday, October 22, 2018

9 Years with My Brown-Eyed Boy

Another kid is another year older. They have got to stop this mess. 
Over the weekend, we celebrated 9 years of this crazy, fun, energetic, never stops, wild, sweet, big-hearted boy. 

We kicked the celebration off Friday morning with a pancake breakfast at 6:30...in the morning... before we sent him off to school. 

This is his last year with one pancake because this is his last year in the single digits. How did this happen?! Seriously, where did the actual time go?

He wanted a bike for his birthday, and while Brian and I were determined that the kids weren't getting "junior/adult" bikes until they were 10, we had to give in to this request since his knees are coming up well above his handle bars of his old bike. This one should last him a few years... hopefully. 

And what else would a 9 year old boy growing up in the Balkans want for his birthday. A man-purse, a man bag, a murse, whatever you want to call it was high on his list this year. 9 years ago, you could have never told me I would have read this on his wish list or that I would have bought it or wrapped it up or watched him open it with joy. This kid's Balkan roots are shining through. All of his friends have one, and he wanted one too. So, we got our Balkan boy a man bag, and he was thrilled. If he asks for a fanny pack next year, No! I don't care how many people are doing it, the answer is NO! 


We had his party with a few friends at a ropes course in one of our favorite parks. We're so thankful to have this place so close to home. 

My little monkey and his big sister right behind him cheering him on.



The kids had a blast at the course despite the rain that came in for the last half of his party. We were all soaking wet and cold, but everyone still seemed to be up for cupcakes.
Lightsabers again this year. 


Look at that cutie!
We love him so beyond his capability to understand. We regularly say that he is just a giant heart. He is compassionate and tender, and while a lot of people don't get to see that side of him, we see it almost every day and especially every night when we tuck him into bed and he shares a little bit of his heart with us. He's an act first think later kind of kid who is full-on energy all the live-long day! We say he has the energy and drive of his daddy with the tender heart of his momma. This year, he was named king of the dance floor, he started basketball, and he still loves golf. He loves all things Star Wars and nerf guns and Dude Perfect and funniest videos on youtube. He loves to laugh, and he loves to make others laugh. 

I'm so wild about him!

We pray that he will continue to grow in His love for and knowledge of his Savior. We pray that he will grow into a humble leader and a man of integrity. As we continue to sharpen and shape and train and point him to Christ, we pray that one day he will launch with a passionate, holy, Godly ambition to love God with his whole heart and life and to love this world with abandon. 

Happy Birthday to our sweet Thomas! We LOVE you!!!


Tuesday, October 16, 2018

She's 11!!!


Our girl is 11 years old and we can hardly believe it. I know I say this every single year and every single time one of my children turns yet another year older. I keep thinking one day time will slow down and yet it seems to be speeding up with every passing day. 
We spent the weekend celebrating her precious life starting Friday night with a small sleepover. Saturday afternoon she met her friends at the mall for a movie, and then they all came back here for a Harry Potter birthday party. Go Team Gryffindor! She decided she wanted to do all of this on Wednesday, and so we did the best we could to throw something together.

The Harry Potter cupcakes.


She had a great party and we are thankful that she has so many sweet friends here. 

Sunday morning we did her birthday pancakes so the whole family could be there to enjoy them. 

Those boys love their big sister SO much. Both of them made her a card that named her as "the best big sister ever!" I have no doubt that it's true. She loves her brothers so well. I love that these three are best friends!


Last night, on her actual birthday, we had her birthday dinner--homemade Chick-Fil-A nuggets, Mac and cheese (from the blue box), and roasted zucchini, her favorite.  We topped it all off with a brownie cake AND cookie dough. I know. I know. That's a whole lot of sweet, but she's worth every single calorie. 

We are so proud to be this girl's parents. She constantly amazes us. She is a kind-hearted, courageous, smart, brave, fierce little thing who loves Jesus, her family and her friends so well. She is wise beyond her years. She has been through a lot since coming into the world in Skopje, Macedonia. Lots of moves. Lots of goodbyes. Lots of hellos. Lots of homesick for... somewhere. But oh so many sweet belly laughs and fun memories in so many different countries with so many different people. Our constant prayer for her is that she will love Jesus with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength and that she will abide in Christ, her Savior and Lord. We pray that she will be faithful to Him and worship only Him all the days of her life. 

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth." Psalm 127:4

So as we get one year closer to shooting this one off to face the world on her own, our hope is that we will continue to shape and sharpen this beautiful arrow that God has given us so that she shoots straight for His great glory!
Happy Birthday, our sweet Kate! You are loved beyond your understanding!


Friday, September 28, 2018

Keep Running




A few weeks ago, before the rush of the school year began, and while the majority of Bulgarians were still lying in the sand by the sea, we set out to take in one of Bulgaria's wonders, Rila's Seven Lakes. After a short ride half way up the mountain and a chair-lift ride another part of the way up, armed with water, granola bars, sandwiches, and gumption, we started our trek up to the peak to see the famous 7 lakes. The hike was much more difficult than I expected. I wasn't ready for it. Isaiah wasn't ready for it. However, we were out-numbered. Thomas and Kate, with Brian at the helm, were full of energy and drive and because of their ambition, fortitude, and never-give-up attitude, all five of us kept trekking all....day....long.


By lake #1, 45 minutes in, Isaiah could have been done. The rocky terrain and nearly straight up incline was enough to do in any 5 year old, even more so the five year who really just wanted to "go home and eat candy." I don't know in what world he thought he was going to get candy, but I guess when you're wishing for deliverance, you might as well dream big. We let him take a little break. Fact was, we all kind of needed it. The first part of the hike was intense. It wasn't the worst of it, but our hearts were pumping, legs screaming, conscience reminding us, we really should work out more. 



The hike continued through a large beautiful field, and we took in all the beautiful views around us. Mountains reaching into the sky and our heart's beat returning to a normal metronomic rhythm. This was the easy part. We walked past two more lakes and sat down to have some lunch by one them. While the kids played by the water and Brian explored the sights with his Canon DSLR, I caught my breath and took in the grandeur of it all. Creation most certainly declares the glory of our great God and King!


After a rest, we set out to find the remaining 4 lakes. We weaved up more rocky terrain, and because my family can't ever seem to just follow the crowd, we ended up bouldering across a small creek, and crawling on our hands and knees to get to another resting place. Why can't we just follow the trail like all the normal people??? We came upon lakes 4 and 5 and had another rest. If Isaiah wasn't done before, he was most certainly done now. I kept reminding him, and myself, that we would be so happy when we finally made it to the top. He didn't care. I wasn't sure I did either.  
Brian took the two oldest and started the final part of the hike. Isaiah and I started our trek as well, but at the pace of a very exhausted 5 year old, who still just wanted to go home, eat candy, and play video games. I made him a deal that for every 50 steps we took, we would take a break. We counted every step and sat down on nature's benches, slanted rocks, to rest. At this point in the day, many hikers were on their way back down from the peak, and cheered us on with words, like "You're almost there!" and "It's just around the corner." and "Only a little further." Some people, still on their journey up, rested near us and pointed to Isaiah saying, "If he can do it, we can do it." Well, I wasn't sure he was going to do it, but whatever they needed to make themselves feel better. 


After a few 50-feet-pushes, Brian came tearing back down to meet us where we were resting and said, "You're so close, it's really right here" pointing around a bend. He picked up Isaiah, hoisted him on his back and shuffled with strength and grace up the mountain to the top. Who was going to carry me? I was happy to rest every 50 feet with Isaiah, but now I had lost the excuse of the 5 year-old's little legs and the need to rest was a pure and unadulterated reflection of my own conditioning and strength--or lack thereof.



Brian kept turning around and checking on me. Isaiah was a little less grumpy now that he had a human chair lift. I kept breathing and kept putting one foot in front of the other. And then, there it was. The view, the gorgeous panorama, with all the seven lakes in sight. It was beautiful. We sat with many other Bulgarians, some Germans and some French and took it all in. It was wonderful, and while we were so tired at the end of it all, we were all so thrilled that we did it. 



There were rock towers like this all over the place at the top. I suppose people built them to signify that they had made to the peak. Isaiah, Kate and Thomas worked on one to mark our family's arrival. 


The Lord often uses days like these to remind me of my spiritual walk with Him. He takes me up on these hikes to teach me so much about his glory, his majesty, his grandeur, and also about his strength in me, the journey, and my natural tendencies and bent towards sin. Most days I'm happy enjoying the view from the foot of the mountain where things are comfortable. But He takes us to high places to teach us, to grow and refine us, to give us more. More often than not the journey there is difficult. It's sometimes more dramatic in our own minds than in reality, but it's difficult all the same--there are always things to overcome, be they the physically rocky and steep terrain or be they the fight to walk solely in His strength, peace, and grace with gladness and joy of heart. 

On this particular beautiful day on one of Bulgaria's many beautiful mountains, I was reminded of one of my favorite passages of scripture, Hebrews 12:1-2:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."


The journey is long. It is often hard. Some days, I'm so exhausted that I barely have the strength to look up and around to see the gorgeous view around me. I have to fight to be thankful for all of the beauty--my wonderful family, my comfortable home, the beautiful parks, but above all, His Word and my miraculous salvation. The fight for joy, for contentment and for a thankful heart is hard when one is gasping for breath just trying to put one foot in front of the other. And then He sends people to encourage and to remind me, "You're almost there. It's around the corner. Don't give up. You can make it." The encouragement of the saints, of His Word, of His church that say "Run with endurance. RUN! Don't give up. Don't lose heart in doing good. Run. Run. His grace is sufficient. His strength made perfect in your weakness." His Word is life! And we must live in it, preach it to ourselves, and preach it to each other every day but especially on these hard mountain climbing days.

At the top!

There were mounds upon mounds of lessons for me that day as I watched my husband and all three of my kids take on this hike in different ways. Thomas who ran 100 meters in front of all us just wishing we would hurry up. He was running with endurance devoted to making it to the top. Kate bopping along, looking around without seemingly a care in the world. She was enjoying the view, full of joy, not even seeming to notice the tough inclines. Brian who was trying to make sure we were all ok and all together, but inwardly just wished to be 100 meters ahead with Thomas taking the hike by storm. He was encouraging us, pulling us along, and sometimes literally carrying one of us. He didn't have to hang back with the weaker ones. He did it out of love. Isaiah who would have never made it if it hadn't been for many moments of rest and his daddy's shoulders. He kept going mainly because we rested with him, carried him and cheered him on, but he made it. And me, who wanted so much to see all seven lakes in view, who really wasn't physically prepared for the hike but who kept going because of what I knew, though I had never seen, lay ahead. I am so thankful I didn't give up. It was worth the journey.






So, sweet friends, keep running and while you're at it, look up and enjoy the view. The reward will be great, and you'll be so glad you did.