"Mommy, can we have ice cream?"
"Mom, what about ice cream?"
"Mom, are we going to get ice cream?"
"Ice cream?" "Ice Cream?!" "Ice Cream?!"
"HUSH!!!!" That's right. I said it. I told my children to hush in the middle of the
walking street and I may or may not have told them that if they asked me about
ice cream one more time, I was going to walk away from them and act like I didn't
know them. Go ahead and throw stones at me. I deserve it.
walking street and I may or may not have told them that if they asked me about
ice cream one more time, I was going to walk away from them and act like I didn't
know them. Go ahead and throw stones at me. I deserve it.
Later in the same evening:
"Mommy, can we watch tv after bath."
"Maybe a little."
"But what about a movie?"
"No, it's too late for a movie."
"But I want to watch a movie. Why can't we watch a movie?"
"I just told you. It's too late."
"Please."
"NO! And do not ask again or you are going straight to bed."
I turn on the tv, pick a show and start walking away to get a snack fixed for them.
"Mommy, I don't want to watch this."
"Oh well. You can either watch it or get in bed. Your choice."
To say the least I most certainly did not win the mommy of the year award yesterday
or most days for that matter. Are your stones hoisted and ready to throw???
or most days for that matter. Are your stones hoisted and ready to throw???
"Do all things without complaining and disputing" (Phil 2:14) is one of our family
verses that we say often, and lately we have been saying it more and more. Why can't
they just stop all the complaining and disputing. It says so in the Bible?! Why do they
have to be so doggone persistent? Why do they have to have an opinion or a question
about everything??? Why do they have to get. on. my. nerves?
verses that we say often, and lately we have been saying it more and more. Why can't
they just stop all the complaining and disputing. It says so in the Bible?! Why do they
have to be so doggone persistent? Why do they have to have an opinion or a question
about everything??? Why do they have to get. on. my. nerves?
URGH! Perhaps their questions are, "Why is mommy so frustrated?" "We just want
ice cream. Why is that so bad?" "Why did mommy lose her patience again?" Or
"Golly, mommy needs a nap." Well, friends, mommy does, in fact, need a nap.
Mommy also needs the Holy Spirit. I need to be empty of me and full of Him. Mommy
needs to repent of her bad attitude and have grace on the wee little sinners running
around my house.
ice cream. Why is that so bad?" "Why did mommy lose her patience again?" Or
"Golly, mommy needs a nap." Well, friends, mommy does, in fact, need a nap.
Mommy also needs the Holy Spirit. I need to be empty of me and full of Him. Mommy
needs to repent of her bad attitude and have grace on the wee little sinners running
around my house.
I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about being taken advantage of. We talked
about how sometimes you just have to say 'no.' You can't let people run all over you.
It is hurtful when people only expect to get things from you, but are never willing to
give anything in return. It's hurtful when people forget all that you have done for them,
when they are ungrateful, and then get angry at you when you don't give them more.
It hurts.
about how sometimes you just have to say 'no.' You can't let people run all over you.
It is hurtful when people only expect to get things from you, but are never willing to
give anything in return. It's hurtful when people forget all that you have done for them,
when they are ungrateful, and then get angry at you when you don't give them more.
It hurts.
As my sweet friend was feeling these very pains, I tried to empathize. I tried to gracefully
speak truth. I was one removed and because it didn't hurt me, it was easy to say, "What
does the gospel of Christ speak to this???"
I returned home to the mundane chaos that is our life around here. Served some coffee
to a random visitor, tried to encourage him and then sent him and my husband out the
door. I returned to the living room, got Kate settled with a book and Thomas settled in
his bed, and with a sigh, I went to hang out laundry, clean the bathrooms, make our bed
(at 2 in the afternoon) and do some dishes. As I was hanging out the laundry, I played
over the conversation with my friend about being used. My Faithful Father spoke to
me. "Mandy, you feel used. You are tired and you rarely get a break. I know. Your
rarely feel served and regularly feel used."
"It's true. I guess that is just the life of a mom, uh?"
"But Mandy, what does the Gospel speak to you? To these feelings?"
The Gospel of Christ says that in His perfect, unconditional love, Jesus came to this
earth to die. He planned to come and redeem me while I was yet in my sin and selfishness.
And when he came, He was misunderstood. He was used and used and used.
"Heal me Jesus." "Jesus, Jesus, make it better." "Fix it, Jesus." "Jesus, we are hungry.
Feed us." "Jesus, I can't see. Give me sight." "Jesus, leave everything you are doing
right now, and come with me to my house. My daughter is dying. C'mon Jesus." He
was used every day. And yet His love remained unconditional. Pure. Perfect. Constant.
Strong. LOVE. And in that very love, He chose to die for us, to be spat upon and
mocked, laughed at, beaten, scourged, whipped and nailed to a cross. He chose this.
He chose to be used so that we could have life. He chose to show us love in the most
realistic and painfully precious way possible. He laid His life down for mine while I
was His enemy and when I only wanted Him as a lucky charm.
He knew I would think horrible wretched thoughts as a mom, wife, and 'm.' He knew
that I would be the embodiment of the selfish, self-righteous disputer. He wanted to rescue
me from that. He wanted to give me grace to show His glory. Grace. His grace is
sufficient for me. It is sufficient for my children. It is sufficient for this people. Grace, that
undeserved favor and merit that is marked by love and that flows like a waterfall. He is
enough for those bad days when I feel used. He knows how I feel times 100,000. He
understands my heart. He loves me beyond what I deserve.
And so today, I choose to receive His grace and walk in it. To be filled up with Him
and emptied of myself. To be used and taken advantage of by people with ungrateful
hearts and selfish motives. To die. It might hurt, but His grace is sufficient.
speak truth. I was one removed and because it didn't hurt me, it was easy to say, "What
does the gospel of Christ speak to this???"
I returned home to the mundane chaos that is our life around here. Served some coffee
to a random visitor, tried to encourage him and then sent him and my husband out the
door. I returned to the living room, got Kate settled with a book and Thomas settled in
his bed, and with a sigh, I went to hang out laundry, clean the bathrooms, make our bed
(at 2 in the afternoon) and do some dishes. As I was hanging out the laundry, I played
over the conversation with my friend about being used. My Faithful Father spoke to
me. "Mandy, you feel used. You are tired and you rarely get a break. I know. Your
rarely feel served and regularly feel used."
"It's true. I guess that is just the life of a mom, uh?"
"But Mandy, what does the Gospel speak to you? To these feelings?"
The Gospel of Christ says that in His perfect, unconditional love, Jesus came to this
earth to die. He planned to come and redeem me while I was yet in my sin and selfishness.
And when he came, He was misunderstood. He was used and used and used.
"Heal me Jesus." "Jesus, Jesus, make it better." "Fix it, Jesus." "Jesus, we are hungry.
Feed us." "Jesus, I can't see. Give me sight." "Jesus, leave everything you are doing
right now, and come with me to my house. My daughter is dying. C'mon Jesus." He
was used every day. And yet His love remained unconditional. Pure. Perfect. Constant.
Strong. LOVE. And in that very love, He chose to die for us, to be spat upon and
mocked, laughed at, beaten, scourged, whipped and nailed to a cross. He chose this.
He chose to be used so that we could have life. He chose to show us love in the most
realistic and painfully precious way possible. He laid His life down for mine while I
was His enemy and when I only wanted Him as a lucky charm.
He knew I would think horrible wretched thoughts as a mom, wife, and 'm.' He knew
that I would be the embodiment of the selfish, self-righteous disputer. He wanted to rescue
me from that. He wanted to give me grace to show His glory. Grace. His grace is
sufficient for me. It is sufficient for my children. It is sufficient for this people. Grace, that
undeserved favor and merit that is marked by love and that flows like a waterfall. He is
enough for those bad days when I feel used. He knows how I feel times 100,000. He
understands my heart. He loves me beyond what I deserve.
And so today, I choose to receive His grace and walk in it. To be filled up with Him
and emptied of myself. To be used and taken advantage of by people with ungrateful
hearts and selfish motives. To die. It might hurt, but His grace is sufficient.
1 comment:
mandy, i am so with you. it's so hard to be selfless as a mom when we feel so spent (mostly emotionally) at the end of every day & rarely get a true break. just wanted you to know that i have these same thoughts & feelings & want the same work of the father in my heart- more of him & less of me. by his strength you are a great mommy :)
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